Grandparents

Grandparents are a blessing. Every generation has them, but not every person in the world has had the opportunity to meet them. I was fortunate enough to have grown up knowing my Grandpa Sidney, my paternal grandfather, and I can't honestly say that I have clear memories of Grandma Gussie, my paternal grandmother, as I was very little when she passed. My maternal grandfather, Paul, passed before I was born. I was, again fortunate enough to have grown up knowing my maternal grandmother Grace. I am finding it hard to define or explain grandparents as I write this. Simply because everyone's experiences are so different, yet likely so similar in many ways as well. Some even have the fortunate experience to have known their great-grandparents, as did I with knowing my Great Grandma Helen.

So, let's start with Grandpa Sidney. I have such vivid memories that stick out in my mind when it comes to Grandpa Sidney. Let's start with the fact that I always thought it was cool to have a Grandpa in Florida. We did not vacation there much growing up, but each visit to 2515 NE 2nd Ct. created memories that will always stick in my mind. Usually visits there involved driving. Lot's and lots of driving. But somehow we always made it. I did fly there with Grandma Grace one summer after 6th grade. Denise, if you are reading this, you may remember how we wrote letters (what are those?) to each other while I was away that summer!

Grandpa Sidney always had salami in the fridge, not the pre-sliced you get at the deli counter, but the kind you had to slice yourself, and the best tasting Florida orange juice ever! He also had a grapefruit before dinner every night. He taught me how to play card games, took me to a minor league baseball game, let me just hang out and watch TV with him, and had the best smile ever. He was literally in love with his grandchildren. I could feel it. I remember as I was older he would ask, "Are you working, making enough money?" He always worried that his kids and grandkids were making money. I remember visiting with him a couple of years after Allen and I were married and I can bet you anything that Allen would say that he remembers how loud the television was and that it was most definitely on the weather channel!

But here is a memory that will forever be ingrained in my mind. Something that just can't happen nowadays. When we would drive to Newark airport to pick Grandpa up, we were allowed to wait close enough to the gate that we would be able to see him walk off the plane and into the terminal. I would remember looking outside to guess which airplane was his. I would just stare and stare with excitement to see Grandpa, imagining how tan he was, looking for that white beautiful wavy hair, and that smile that could melt an iceberg.

Let's talk about Grandma Grace now. It did not take an airplane to see her. It was simply a ride to Elizabeth. Where do I begin with Grandma Grace? I wrote about sleepovers before, and how it was one of the few places I would feel comfortable. She had a closet of toys that she kept for her grandchildren to play with. She would make the best scrambled eggs EVER! I remember she would stir them with a wooden spoon. We would eat breakfast at the table near the fire escape where she kept a bowl of assorted nuts outside for the squirrels to eat. I would stare out the window just to get a glimpse of a squirrel coming for a treat.

Grandma had the neatest, most organized apartment in the world (I did not inherit that gene by the way). Even her pencils and pens were carefully gathered in rubber bands! She always had Certs in her pocketbook, along with the sugars that she would put in her bag whenever we went to a restaurant! Oh, and Tic Tacs too! As I write, I know there are just so many memories flooding in. Too many to write down. But the warmth that I get when thinking about her is just what I need right now to give me a sense of calm.

Grandma lived in the same complex as my Great Grandma Helen. Did you ever smell something and have that trigger a memory? Well, for Grandma Helen, there are three distinct aromas: butterscotch candy, mandel bread, and red sauce (gravy, pasta sauce - no need to debate it but I am fully aware of the different names). Not just any red sauce, there was an aroma that I can't seem to replicate yet if I smelled it, I would know it immediately.

So, how does this fit in to kindness and positivity? For those readers out there who are about my age, we had grandparents and great grandparents who made sacrifices that, until recently, many of us have not had to make. Let's face it, while technology in our generation seems to be growing and changing with every waking moment. They were part of the generation that pioneered the technology that made all this possible. Electricity, radio, television, medicine, and much more. We have much to learn from the successes and mistakes of our grandparents.

Why do I mention mistakes? Well, they made mistakes, we all do. In my opinion, each generation should not just grow in terms of technology and medicine, but in kindness, inclusiveness and in empathy. I am not writing this to talk about my grandparents' opinions on race or politics. I am writing to share my personal memories and how special grandparents are in linking families and generations. However, I do know that the choices of the generations before us have not always been for the common good. We have the chance to change that. Social media makes what has always been hidden, much more visible.

Let's make it our job to leave a legacy for our grandchildren so that they can look back and see the change we made, not just in technology and medicine, but in kindness and inclusion.

I challenge everyone who reads this to help to create that future for ALL of our children and for our neighbors' children.

It is our responsibility to build a world for our future grandchildren that includes a sense of safety and security for all, because right now, there is so much anger and resentment out there. We need to change that, and it has to happen by remembering that while the generation before us made plenty of mistakes, we can be the change.

One day, I hope my grandchild(ren) will look back and speak of my yummy brownies, fun sleepovers, holiday dinners, trips to the store, card games, puzzles, pretending and dressing up in costume. I also want them to speak of my kindness, inclusion, positivity and empathy as they engage in conversation and friendships with peers from all races and religions.

Thanks for listening! xoxo